Emotional Turnmoil

Emotional TurmoilU


I am a visual person, not really good at words to express myself, therefore my art does this for me.

As humans we are equipped with a massive amount of emotions. I have all my life wondered why we needed so many. At multiple times these emotions seemed to control all my actions greatly overpowering logical thinking.  Decisions made while overcome by emotions usually are bad ones.

I understand “fight or flight” and our need to have these emotions. I even understand and have read a great deal concerning our need to be partnered with another human. Having another person close to you helps to support life. Humans are very social beings for a reason. Survival. The problem is this can create an emotional overload with this need overpowering good sense frequently. We need each other for protection, such as herd animals. A person alone risks demise if sick or hurt with no one around.

One major problem with that is the emotional need can create anger, jealousy, revenge thoughts, self-protection, deep hurt feelings, guilt, etc. So many emotions. Living alone in this human society produces sadness on holidays, pain, bad thoughts, because of the main school of thought which urges us to gather together whether or not this particular day of the year is a good time to do so.

Having had to work most holidays through my life, produced so much frustration because one was expected to also “Celebrate at a specific time and day regardless. I am not all opposed to getting together with friends and family to have fun, but have seen to strain all this can produce on especially the person in charge. Since my son grew up within my constant work restraints, he did not actually understand holiday traditions either. I do think he is right now, though. Just make your own spontaneous get togethers. Any day will do.

Well, back to the topic here of wild, crazy emotional health. Guilt also rattles our chain concerning trying to take care of elderly loved ones. Extreme guilt because you never feel like you have done enough. This is just another extreme emotion in the human species. Being well educated and studied in human emotions, I have always fought my own emotions and have seen where guilt can rip a family apart. I would never have thought it possible, but this can tear up many a “good and happy” family. In fact emotions have driven mine to antidepressants and sleeping pills and constant worry.

Again, I am sorry for this rant, but my old doctor, now retired, having family members also totally stressed out from caretaker guilt, was a good doctor to me. He also told me that holding in feelings instead of having an outlet could truly hurt a person, so there. This blog seems to be my outlet. Before I was “guilty” of not expressing my feelings thus holding in my emotions. I get it now. Go ahead and express oneself even if it’s just writing your emotional feelings down. The old way of the family was to be stoic and strong. Don’t show pain or fear.

Thank you for listening if you do read this. I guess as a fellow human being, I just need to release some pent up emotions.


About sabuloustempest

I have gone back to what I love, which is, drawing, painting, pen and ink, creating items through all possibilities, gardening, walking in natural beauty, and enjoying life. I have a BFA from Stephen F. Austin University in Texas.
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